Five things Every Whisky Lover Hates Hearing

There is precisely one thing that whisky lovers love more than loving their whisky, and that is getting mad at people when they don’t share the same obsession. If you know, or have known a whisky lover in the past, you know how seriously they take this stuff. It is important to them, and most importantly, we also take that stuff seriously.

Now if you have gotten tired of being lectured, and scolded by your whiskyhead friend every time you guys go out, we think it is time for you to know what exactly are the things whisky lovers hate the most.

We are sure you already know the basics, and may have been afraid to ask ‘why?’ We promise to be nicer than your angry friend, and we would love to help you out. So if you are confused, and tired of getting certain things about whisky mixed up in your head, worry no more. Here are the top five things that those finicky whisky lovers hate, and why!

#1 “All Whiskies Taste The Same To Me.”

Oh this one can get you in trouble! Depending from a stern look, to rolled-up sleeves, calling all whiskies the same is just ill-advised when you’re with, or surrounded by someone who loves whisky deeply.

It’s not just a nuanced debate, because when you say ‘All whiskies taste the same to me’, you’re quite frankly wrong, or have been doing things wrong.

All Whiskies Taste The Same To Me

All whiskies do not taste the same because they each have their own set of aromas, flavours, mouth-feel and so many other discernible factors. Ask your friend to teach you how to nose, and taste a whisky in order to dispel these misinformed notions. Trust us, they will be more than happy give you an impromptu crash course in the art of whisky tasting.

#2 “You Should Add Cola To It.”

If you’re even planning to say this to your whisky loving friend as a joke, we recommend you put some distance between each other. The intensity of their rebuke may vary depending on which whisky you have expressed a desire to contaminate, but there will be some for sure.

You Should Add Cola to it

Okay so a Jack & Coke is a great drink to sip on while you’re relaxing at a nightclub, or a night out with friends. Although if you’re accompanied by someone that is a stickler for ‘drinking whisky the way it was intended’, you’re in for some unsolicited sharing of knowledge, or at best, a series of eye-rolls.

Ideally, we would ask you to never mix cola, ginger ale or even ice with a whisky. Especially single malts, and whiskies that have been matured for anything more than 5 years. The makers have taken great trouble to add a depth and character to the whisky, and cola just washes it all away.

The Whiskypedia suggests you stick to easy-going, value-for-money whiskies if you love your cola too much.

#3 “Whisky or Whiskey! How Does That Matter?”

Surprise – It matters. Sure there is no tangible offense to be taken here, but trust us, there are people that take these things seriously, including us. You may be thinking that it’s just one alphabet, what difference does it even make?

Well, there is lots of context and history attached to that ONE alphabet. Are you ready to know what that is? Okay here it goes.

Irish whiskey is spelled with an ‘E’, and the Americans chose to spell it just like the Irish. Whereas the Scottish chose to spell it without the extra ‘E’, and the Japanese, the Indians, the Canadians and the Australians also chose to spell it the Scottish way.

Whisky or Whiskey

The feeling of restrained animosity between the Irish and the Scottish, their whisky-making origins and the general feeling of pride they have attached to their own whiskies is what adds fuel to the fire. Sure it’s not like there is an actual fire, but they take it seriously and by extension, so does everyone else.

If you’re thinking, ‘Why don’t they just pick one way to spell it and save us all the trouble?’ We feel you. In an ideal world, that is the way it would happen but sadly, we live in a world were whiskey and whisky are different, whisky lovers take the distinction seriously and we can’t change that.

If you’re thinking, ‘Why don’t they just pick one way to spell it and save us all the trouble?’ We feel you. In an ideal world, that is the way it would happen but sadly, we live in a world were whiskey and whisky are different, whisky lovers take the distinction seriously and we can’t change that.

Whisky is So Dull & Boring

Just. Don’t. Ever. Say. That.

It’s not true, and also, please don’t say that.

#5 “I Only Drink ‘Famous Brand’ Because It’s The Best”

This is one of the most common pet peeves for people that make it a point to try as many little-known whiskies as they can. These whiskies, tucked away in obscurity due to the world’s disillusionment with marketing, are a rich reservoir of goodness simply waiting to be explored. Secondly, if you call a whisky THE best, we hate to be the bearer of sad tidings but you’re wrong. There are only good whiskies, and not good whiskies.

You can have a favourite whisky, and you can have a favourite flavour profile, or a type of whisky you’re preferential towards, but the moment you say ‘This whisky is the best’, you will lose them.

I Only Drink Famous Whisky Brands

This pattern is doubly troubling for people that try to unearth lesser-known whiskies from every corner of the world. If you are acquainted with someone that knows whiskies like the back of their hand, there is a good chance they will be irked if someone uses the name of a popular whisky brand and calls it the best.

Sure the Jims, the Jacks, and the Johnnies are well-known, and they could be your favourite, but ‘the best’ whisky, doesn’t exist. A whisky can be good and popular, but a popular whisky isn’t always good, and neither are good whiskies always popular.

Just like the Oscars, whisky tasting competitions and shows award the best whiskies ‘that year’, and most importantly, try to enjoy the whisky itself instead of adjudicating them.

We think you have probably been enlightened about those pesky little details that your friend always obsesses over, and why. Here’s to hoping you will have developed a new kind of appreciation towards whisky the way we intended. Cheers!

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